When our children were 8 and 5, they begged us to let them stay up until midnight on New Year’s Eve. It was, after all, not only the turning of the year, but also the turning of the century, when 1999 would roll into 2000. The city organized a special firework display down on the waterfront, and, thankfully, scheduled it for 7 or 8 pm, so families could attend. We parked in downtown Dartmouth and walked down to Alderney Landing. It was a crisp, cold, cloudless night – the kind of winter night when your nose and toes tingle, and your breath hangs for a few seconds in the air. The fireworks, launched from a barge in the harbour, were loud of course, but spectacular – we were not disappointed. I thought the kids would be tuckered out but when we arrived home at 8:30 pm or so, they were ready to keep going! Several board games, snacks, crafts and movies later, they finally began to fade – we have pictures of us waking them up to “see” the clock tick past midnight. Truth be told, that may have been the last time I managed to stay awake to see the new year in!
I guess I’ve always approached the turning of the year with mixed emotions. While it is essentially just another day on the calendar, it’s also symbolic of a new beginning, a fresh start. Oh, I have some regrets for sure, of “things done and left undone”, but on the whole, with a sense of hopefulness.
There’s a chapter entitled “Holy Habits of Prayer” in St. Augustine’s Prayer Book, that defines prayer as more than the mere reciting of words – it is a way of life that strengthens, deepens and sustains our longing for the Divine. The pocket size volume includes a form of the Daily Office as well as a selection of prayers, litanies and seasonal devotions.
First published in 1947 by the Order of the Holy Cross, an Anglican monastic community, it’s been reprinted and revised several times since. It’s emphasis on – and invitation to – establish “holy habits” is one of the reasons it has remained a devotional classic. For instance, the form of Evening Prayers, includes this guiding rubric: “If possible, get your evening prayers said early in the evening. Don’t wait until bedtime. That would mean giving the last, tired minutes of the day to God”.
Following the Lord’s Prayer, is an invitation to “examine your conscience”, offered along with some gentle prompts:
“Was I lazy in rising? Did I say my prayers? Have I done my work diligently or have I been idle and wasted time? Have I judged my neighbor: given way to unkind feelings?” and so on.
In reflecting on the day past, there comes the freedom to ask forgiveness, to prepare for a fresh start tomorrow. This day’s end review offers the possibility of a clean slate, a resolve to begin again. The practice is reminiscent of The Examen, a prayerful reflection on the events of the day to detect God’s presence and discern God’s direction. This practice is described by Ignatius Loyola in his Spiritual Exercises. He encouraged people to talk to Jesus like a friend, to end the Examen with a conversation with Him, asking for forgiveness, for protection, help, and wisdom about the questions and concerns of life, all in the spirit of gratitude.
Soren Kierkegaard, the Danish philosopher, theologian, and cultural critic, once wrote “Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.” In a very real way, the Examen is like looking in a rear-view mirror, where, in prayerful reflection, we learn from our missteps and begin to see them as fertile ground for growth, for a sense of God leading us through the things that bring joy and the things that cause us sorrow.
Seems to me that the beginning of a new year is the perfect time to review the one just laid to rest before stepping boldly into the one before us – a holy habit of prayer to strengthen, deepen and sustain us in our longing for the Divine.
Rev. Frances Drolet-Smith
Diocesan Representative, the Anglican Fellowship of Prayer
Photo by Olga Nayda nsplash
